Can Feleipe Franks still let his nuts hang after loss vs Florida? I say “how low do they drop king”
Arkansas football is a far cry from being the class of the SEC. They’re coming off of TWO 2–10 seasons and they haven’t been to a New Years’ Bowl since 2012 (Cotton Bowl where they beat the fuck out of K-State, EMAW my ass).
Still, they’ve shown improvement this season. Beating 16th ranked Mississippi State (at the time fuck what you heard), being one ridiculous officiating blunder away from a win against 13th ranked Auburn, a shellacking against Ole Miss and an old fashioned spanking against Tennessee means the Hogs might not be LETHAL, but you can’t sleep on them like you could with Potato Morris at the helm. Tonight, however, Arkansas fell 63–35 against 6th ranked Florida, giving them their 4th and WORST loss of the season. Officially, Arkansas currently sits at 3–4 on the season, 4th in the SEC West, and number one in my heart always.
But is this loss something to hang your head on? Not so fast, Arkansas fans! Let’s dive deep into the shitfest that is Arkansas and College football stats:
- 4th place in the west, 2–1 at home and competing till the end against an all SEC schedule is nothing to be ashamed of. Potato Morris and his gang of shitbag GA assistants would be 0–7 with an average loss margin of 72. Sometimes stats just don’t cover how shitty a team plays when they have the world’s cuckiest coach aside from Dan Mullen (can I kiss your wife too?)
- Arkansas this season has given up an average of 26.2 PPG (51st in the FBS). Compare that to last year, they gave up 36.8 PPG, 442 total points, and ranked 124 out of a possible 130 FBS teams. Let that sink in. This is improvement, with the nation’s hardest schedule they are up 70+ spots with the season almost over. Barry Odom is invited to all of my family events.
- Feleipe Franks is daddy in every way imaginable. Florida’s defense has been atrocious all season. But giving up 35 points in the Swamp against a familiar QB in the 13 incher? Not a pretty sight for FLA fans that are striving for conference-covering perfection.
To expand on my last point regarding Franks forcing paternity on most teams he comes in contact with, I have a few subpoints. First, despite a gross looking final score tonight, the man finished 15/19, 250 and 2 TD passes. Those aren’t just respectable numbers against the 6th team in the nation, those are GREAT numbers. Here also are a couple beautiful stats provided by the main NCAA stats site. Out of 86 eligible QBs, he’s 17th in passing TDs at 14 (and that’s with a fuckton of ties). Add to that 22nd in completion percentage, a 137.9 passer rating on throws 20+ yards downfield, and a bunch of other stupid fucking stats that don’t matter, It’s clear to see tonight’s struggles were with a defense that needed a little more Pittman and little less Big D Barry.
The Hogs host LSU next weekend and the Golden Boot seems REALLY on the line for first time in about 5 years. LSU is reeling off of multiple bad losses, and Arkansas’s only REAL losses are all against top 5–10 teams. I think the pigs shake this off super quick-like, let the Pittman come back stronger than ever, and they shit on LSU and their stupid little Tiger heads 45–0. Jk, I’ll give a more accurate score prediction when the line solidifies later this week. Aside from Bama week, I think we handle both LSU and Mizzou with that sorry ass glasses wearing fuckface at the HC spot. 5–5 should be the final record here. Not only will the Hogs win, Feleipe will keep doing what Feleipe does: dragging nuts across opposing defenses’ faces.