Referee Marc Curles named SEC Player of the Week after win against Arkansas
SEC Head Referee Marc Curles was named the SEC Player of the Week on Saturday after a hard fought 27–24 battle, with his crew taking on the 3–4 Arkansas Razorbacks.
Curles was truly the star of the show, taking away an obvious fumble from the Hogs that would have put them close to, if not in, the redzone. “That one was a tough one to pull off” he said while chuckling, “I knew I had to find a way to persevere though, Daddy Sankey made it clear what I had to do today.”
He is talking, of course, about SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey. The nickname “Daddy” was self imposed, and he’s since required all referees in the conference to address him as such when he gets his weekly pokey pokey fun time with them in his office. While Curles didn’t specifically address what HIS pokey pokey fun times look like, he blushed and looked down his feet. An obvious indicator to us that he is very much in love. “Daddy’s nice. He chirped in my ear after the play. He was real sweet about it, I’m glad I could get it done for him.”
But the real time to shine was late in the fourth quarter. Arkansas safety Jalen Catalon hip-checked a receiver on a first down grab. One of Curles’s crewmates threw the targeting flag and he went over to review. We asked him what he was thinking here and what this meant for the game, and for his standing with Sankey. This time, he was a little more grim:
“Well, I didn’t think I could do this one. It was so obviously not targeting. But Daddy Sankey nudged me the right way. Daddy told me I was the ref and it was Arkansas so I could do whatever I wanted. He also threatened to take away my food and cash allowances for the week. At the end of the day I came out and clutched it, we got the call and they got the score. Good game all around.” When asked if Sankey threatened to take his pokey pokey fun time away, Curles replied with a smile, “He wouldn’t take that away from me. I wouldn’t let him. That’s our special time. He [Sankey] tells me he loves me, sometimes gives me a soft kiss on the back. He could take away a lot of things, but never that. I’m glad I could work it for Daddy today.”
Looking at this from a wholistic standpoint, it seems that Curles is another battered spouse marred by the SEC and the LSU football program. When asked by us for comment, head coach Hotdog Ed Orgeron asked us if we “didn’t think he still had Derrius’s number” and that he was “in town for a little while longer” if we wanted to “come see about me and my shooters” then topped it off with a grin and an enthusiastic “GO TIGAHS.”